Swish Embassy

Guilty Confession #18

2010-03-16T23:14:00.000-06:00

I had this awful vision, on my way home from Milwaukee, of both engines on the aircraft exploding into giant fireballs and my person burning alive while I scream for my mother.

... And that's the shit I think about when getting onto an airplane.

Tron!

2010-03-16T22:46:00.000-06:00

JMG points us to the trailer for Tron. A movie I'm very, very excited to see. Anyone else?

Mug Shot Monday (Except... on Tuesday)

2010-03-16T22:28:00.000-06:00

I'll always have a special place in my heart for a man with a parole record:

(HAHA! Just kidding.)

Statement from Lesbian Parents of Children Expelled from Catholic School

2010-03-16T21:25:00.000-06:00

I've been following, but have not posted anything until now, the story regarding two children who were recently expelled from a Boulder, CO Catholic School for having lesbian parents (you can read the story here). It wasn't until I read the parent's statement that I decided to make a point of it on this blog.

Now, don't get me wrong... for the most part, I feel people are honest-to-good citizens who are not always in it all for themselves. But, part of me, sort of felt these parents may have enrolled their kids in a Catholic School for an opportunity to reap the benefits of a possible lawsuit or media attention. After reading their statement today, I've completely changed my mind. These parents are in it for one thing... their children, and their children only.

We are normal people. We have two children, a nice house, and a dog. We both hold professional jobs in the community. You would likely pass us on the street and not take much notice. We work hard, and enjoy spending time with our family, traveling, and being outdoors. What makes us different is that we are a lesbian couple. We are not activists by nature. You have never seen us at protests or marching in parades. Up until this point, we have taken the typical passive approach of voting for candidates that represent our viewpoints and directing our charitable donations to organizations whose missions we support. We live in a liberal community, where we have always felt safe, comfortable, and accepted.

Certainly over the years there have been times when our sexuality has been an issue, but they have been relatively minor. We had to hire a lawyer to ensure both of our names were on our children’s birth certificates, to protect our rights to inherit each others assets, and establish medical durable power of attorney. Luckily, we had the financial means to pay the thousands of dollars to do all of this. In the years that we have been in Colorado, laws have since been changed to protect some of these basic rights. We file our taxes as single. We filled out our census as ‘unmarried partners living together’ since we are not able to legally marry. Upon returning from vacation, US Customs would not process us together because we ‘did not qualify as a family’. These are things that gay and lesbian people deal with every day.

Recently, we found ourselves in the middle of a political firestorm. We went to enroll our oldest child in kindergarten at Sacred Heart of Jesus School, and were told that our children would not be welcome to continue their education there long term because of our sexual orientation. This came as a shock to us because our children had been attending preschool at Sacred Heart for three years. We had been open about our family situation from the start, and had always felt welcomed by parents and teachers. The past weeks have been very difficult for our family. We were initially very hurt and angry. We met with school and church administrators to discuss the situation. We were told that families and students need to uphold church doctrine in order for children to be admitted. We were also told that our children would feel uncomfortable when taught about the “family unit”, and teachers might feel too intimidated by their presence to teach church beliefs. Our answer to this is that there are many families that do not live their lives according to church doctrine. There are divorced parents, children of parents born out of wedlock, non-Catholics, and non-practicing Catholics. Their eligibility has not been questioned. There seems to be a subjective rating system of which sins are more unacceptable.

Regarding the school’s teaching about the ‘family unit’, we are unconcerned. Our children know that their family is different than most. They are well aware that many families have a mom and a dad, and we discuss different family models openly. We have a good understanding of the church’s position on gay and lesbian people. We have never sought approval from the church of our relationship and we would never ask that the school modify its teachings to accommodate our family. We are not threatened by our children hearing different points of view on any issues. Perhaps our biggest objection to the School’s decision is that we think that it is wrong to punish a child for who the child’s parents are. We do not think that this reflects what Jesus would have done. Jesus said, “bring the children to me.”

Our initial thought was that it would be least disruptive for our children to deal with this privately, and focus our energy on securing other educational options for them. However, word of our situation got out to the Sacred Heart community at a teacher staff meeting and quickly spread. Many people at Sacred Heart were outraged with the decision. A teacher reported it to the local news outlets. We found our story on the front page of the paper and in the headlines of the local news. It quickly spread nationally and has been the subject of many online blogs. We have chosen to speak up at this time to clarify many misconceptions.

Some have suggested that we enrolled our children at Sacred Heart to make a political point. This could not be further from the truth. We were both born and raised in the Catholic faith. One of us went to Catholic school from preschool through high school, and the other attended a prestigious Catholic University. Our children’s grandmother and aunt were catholic school teachers for many years. Furthermore, our children are Catholics. They have both been baptized, and we take them to church regularly at Sacred Heart. When we were allowed to have our children baptized (as recommended by the 2006 document ‘Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guidelines for Pastoral Care’), we made a promise to raise our children in the Catholic faith. We now feel like our attempts at fulfilling this promise are being undermined by the Church itself. Although we do not see eye to eye with the Catholic Church on the issue of gay and lesbian relationships, we value what a Catholic education can offer our children from an academic, religious, and moral standpoint. As parents, our number one priority is and always has been the well-being of our children. We would never intentionally seek to further our own political beliefs at their expense.

Clearly this is an issue that strikes a nerve for many people. If any good can come out of all of this, perhaps it is getting people thinking and discussing issues of faith and sexual orientation. Our case is not unique. There are many other gay couples who have families and are struggling to reconcile their sexual orientation with their religious beliefs. We do not believe that homosexuality and organized religion need to be mutually exclusive. We have been touched by the outpouring of support from the Sacred Heart community and the community at large. Many of the people who stood up for us publicly did so at some risk to themselves and their families. We are humbled by their courage. We hope that in the future when we witness an injustice, we are brave enough to stand up to it like so many people did for us.

Our family will persevere. We have well-adjusted, intelligent, beautiful children who are deeply loved. We have chosen to move forward with our lives, not with hearts filled with hate and bitterness, but with hope that in part due to this controversy there might be some positive changes in the hearts and minds of others. It is easy to have ideas and opinions when they are abstract. When you meet the real people you are judging, you sometimes see things differently. We never intended consciously for our family to be active gay rights advocates, but by living happy, successful lives it appears that is what we have become. We will continue to raise our children with strong Catholic values and hold faith that through our actions, we are doing our part to create a more loving, inclusive world.

I don't think it could have been said better, readers. Agreed?

Hi Pot, I'm Kettle...

2010-03-16T21:13:00.000-06:00

"Hey fellow haters! I have an idea. Let's go stake out the women's bathroom at the Marriott today and film transgender people using the women's restroom!"

"Great idea, Pherona! And then we can have Gertrude edit our awful filming and put some really lame-ass wording over it to make it look like the shittiest PSA wanna-be film ever!"

"Yeah! Yeah! And we should put some really cool, like... I dunno... neon glow behind the words, too!"

"Oh, good idea Gertrude! God your brilliant!"

"Oh, then lets post it on YOUTUBE!!! Yeah... then we'll be known across the globe for being the most perverted bigots on the face of the planet that film people doing things like... using the bathroom, reserving hotel ballrooms, and playing the guitar!"

Proof that gay hate groups are more perverse than the people they label as such.

Betty White Gets Her Own TV Show!

2010-03-16T20:41:00.000-06:00

Hell yeah, bitches! Just after our penile units healed from jacking off to the news that Betty White will be hosting the May 8th episode of SNL, TV Land drops a bomb like this on us. Those bastards!

But not really, because this is some exciting news, people.

TV Land announced today that it has signed Emmy® Award-winning and audience-adored actress Betty White to star in the highly-anticipated TV Land PRIME Original sitcom “Hot in Cleveland” scheduled to premiere in June. Betty White will take on the role of the snarky but lovable Elka Ostrovsky, property caretaker of the home that co-stars – Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick – rent after their plane makes an emergency landing in Cleveland and they decide to stay. “Hot in Cleveland” is written by Emmy® Award-winning Suzanne Martin (“Frasier,” “Ellen”) and is produced by Emmy® Award-winner Sean Hayes (“Will & Grace”) and Todd Milliner of Hazy Mills Productions. “Hot in Cleveland,” a TV Land PRIME original production has been picked up for ten episodes and is the network’s first venture into scripted comedy series.

Hot in Cleveland revolves around three LA women of a certain age and best friends Bertinelli, Leeves and Malick. Their lives are changed forever when their plane, headed for Paris, unexpectedly lands in Cleveland and they soon rediscover themselves in this new promise land. Loving their new home, the women find themselves living under one roof and battling the sassy caretaker of the property they have rented, played by Betty White.

A sassy Betty White as a landlord? You all know I'm stealing Betty's lines and using them at work when my residents piss me off.

Bloggy McBloggy Neglector

2010-03-16T00:34:00.000-06:00

As many of you may know, I took a recent trip to Milwaukee to see my best friend Jenn, and decided to pretty much neglect my blog the entire time.

Yay! Wes sucks at life!

Readers... never again. And for several reasons.

Firstly, and most importantly, I feel like I've let you all down. This blog is something that I do for myself, but also for all of my readers. I love meeting new people, hearing from everyone around the world, and, most of all, connecting with people who share the same interests as I do. After my three-month hiatus, I realized what was so great about blogging... having the ability to put myself out there in front of the entire world to let everyone know what I'm about. And that's a wonderful way to connect with other people on a level that's different than any other.

Secondly, I feel completely disconnected and out of it. I have been scrolling through the blogs and news sites I frequent and am so overwhelmed with information, I don't even know where to start. It's insane how much information is produced every single day.

Thirdly, I missed out on some really cool music videos that YouTube has pulled due to Copyright Claims... which really pisses me off.

And finally, in at number four, is the fact that my visitor count dropped like 687,193,529% over the past week because everything on my blog was old, tired news. Bleh!

There were, however, some great things that came out of my trip to Milwaukee. Those are:

1. I've decided that I'm never taking vacation again, because the shit storm I came back to at work today is TOTALLY not worth the time off;

2. I have decided that just because I'm on vacation, it does not mean I can throw my healthy eating habits out the door, and feel comfortable scarfing down nachos, Culver's hamburgers two days in a row, onion rings, french fries, deep fried snap peas, cheesecake, chicken-fried steak, pancakes, caramel corn, hot pockets, macaroni and cheese, sun chips, cheese ravioli, flatbread, donuts, White Castle hamburgers, deep fried cheese curds, chicken fingers, a HUGE hamburger from Boston Blacky's, double-chocolate cake custard, and, finally... an entire pizza buffet;

3. I finally got to see my best friend Jenn and the city she lives in. She was an angel, and drove my ass (and Jesse's!) all over the city, and even to Chicago for two days;

4. And last, but not least, I have decided to transplant myself to Chicago. I've wanted to live there for years, and this last trip there pretty much solidified it for me. I WILL be in Chicago before the end of the year. Wish me luck pumpkins... because I'm scared shitless over the decision. For I will be leaving every friend and family member back in Colorado for the dream of Chicago.

I love you all. And thanks for reading.

Oh! I almost forgot to tell you all. I ran across this incredible website over vacation. You may have heard of it... Morning Mugshots? It's becoming incredibly popular. You should visit... and submit a picture of the wonderful, just rolled out of bed head you!

Caption Needed

2010-03-15T22:32:00.000-06:00

There's actually a really cool story attached to this picture, but I thought you all could come up with something better than a zebra cleaning a hippo's teeth. Don't disappoint me.

Yay!

2010-03-15T22:22:00.000-06:00

If you haven't heard yet. I almost didn't post this... since the news is almost a week old. But I was so excited, I just couldn't resist.

Mark Wahlberg's Making the Bears Drool a Little

2010-03-15T22:10:00.000-06:00

I'm not one to complain about a hot body in a pair of Calvin Klein's (especially Mark Whalberg), but there seems to be a big media buzz going around about Mark's "huge gut". Did everyone expect Mark to keep his rock-hard abs and bulging biceps all the way to the age of 40? The media needs to get over themselves. It's shit like this that gives people massive complexes about the way they look. He's not fat. He's not out of shape. And he doesn't have a "huge gut".

Anyone disagree?

By the way, Mark and I are both Gemini's. Which automatically makes us cooler than everyone.

Movie Quote of the day

2010-03-08T21:29:00.000-07:00

"I just love the color of the sky. It's so magenta..."

"Mary, I dont know what kind of homosexual you are... THAT color is Mauve."

Ze End of Ze World!

2010-03-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

This video can also be seen on SwishEmbassy.TV

Guydar

2010-03-08T10:16:00.001-07:00

I'm no Boy Culture, but I can say this:

1. It's a start and;
2. It's much easier getting pictures of hot guys in Chicago than in Denver.

AT&T's "TXTing and DRivng... It can wait" campaign

2010-03-08T09:52:00.001-07:00

Readers, today AT&T is launching a new campaign geared towards teens and millions of other people who are guilty of texting and driving. In 2008, there were 5,870 DEATHS and over half a million injuries that were the result of texting and driving.

I'll admit... I'm guilty of texting and driving myself. But when I looked through my iPhone for the last text messages I sent and recieved, I asked myself "would that text be worth dying for?". And that answer was a big, fat, ugly no. In fact, that was the answer for every text message in my phone.

It's a brilliant campaign, and I think it could work... It's just getting the public to catch on and ask themselves before sending their next text "is this message so important that I'm willing to give my life to get it sent... Right. Now."

I certainly don't drive as much as I used to, as I live where I work, but from this point on, I've vowed to become a safer driver by leaving my phone in my pocket and text only when I'm not operating a $27,000 machine.

How many of you want to join me?

Look everyone! Jesse's working over his vacation!!!

2010-03-07T09:16:00.003-07:00

Such a good boy. The second the alarm went off this morning, Jesse jumped outta bed, grabbed his computer, and rushed downstairs to the lobby to get back to work, leaving a dust trail behind him. He's been diligently working away now for the past three hours. He did, however, take a two-minute break to get something to eat. He does feel guilty about that, though. It's going to take a lot of time to make up for that food break!

Do any of my readers have psychotic bosses that expect them to work, even when on vacation and in a different city? Because Jesse does.

What's scary is I think Jesse is enjoying it. Bossy-whipped much!?

PS :: My post about airport cruising, which was published yesterday, is the #3 ranked entry page for this blog. Sigh....

Airport Cruising?

2010-03-06T17:26:00.000-07:00

You know what's so fun about traveling, readers? Is that you can check out gay AND straight men from all over the world in real time!

PS :: I just saw some child all dressed in pink running around the airport crying and screaming for her mother. It was fabulous.

No Bloggy Updates, Wes. What the HELL!?

2010-03-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. I'm sorry readers! I've been preparing for a week-long vacation to Chicago and Milwauki while coming down the flu. BLEH! Not fun, but I'm doing all I can to feel better. I figure if I have to be bed ridden, I might as well do it in another city since I paid for the damn plane ticket. Right? Keep your cute little fingers crossed that I get rid of this crud soon!

Needless to say, bloggy updates for the next week will be sporatic, if any. We'll see how much time I have.

Also, I'd like everyone to know that, when vacationing, it is NOT socially acceptable to wake up in your hotel room and mosey on downstairs for complimentary breakfast with your hair a greasy, strangley mess, your clothes wrinkled, sleep still in your eyes, and with the smell of night sweat still eleviating from your body. No... that's gross. And a sign that you don't care about yourself or what you look like in front of total strangers. And that's not cool, either.

Thanks!

Wendy's Bitches

2010-03-03T01:13:00.004-07:00

You all know how much of a fast-food whore I am, right? I love fast food. It's fast... and it's food. And it comes at a good price. But my experience at Wendy's tonight... well, let's just say it pushed me right OVER THE EDGE.

"Hi. Can I take your order?"

"Yes. I'd like a..."

"Hi. Can I take your order?"

"Hi. Yes, hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Go ahead..."

"Yes, I'd like a BBQ Double Bacon Jr, but..."

"Fries... and what to drink?"

"Uhm... well, just the burger, but no chee..."

"OK. What else?"

"No. I'm sorry... I'd like just the hamburger, no fries."

"OK. What else?"

"And on that burger can I get no cheese?"

"OK. What else?"

"If I could also get a 5-piece chicken nugg..."

"OK. Anything else?"

"Can I get those with honey mustard?"

"OK."

"Also, I'd like a crispy chicken sandwi..."

"OK, with fries and what to drink?"

"No. Just the sandwich. No drink or fri..."

"OK. What else?"

**clinching fists**

"A value size diet coke."

"OK. And what to drink?"

"A diet coke."

"OK. Anything else?"

**Rolling eyes** "I think that'll do it."

"I'll have your total at the second window."

**Receive correct drink from rude manager who's screaming at other employees to get to work, drop fries, cook hamburgers. Hand card to manager who's ignoring requests for ketchup with meal delivery, while she's yelling at Esmeralda to get behind the register to help a hungry customer in the "dining room".**

** Receive card back from manager with a "thank you" directed to employee handing her bag.**

"Thank you."

**Open bag... contents within :: french fries (scattered across the bottom of bag), hamburger, chicken nuggets (scattered across the bottom of bag), BBQ sauce, one napkin, no ketchup, and three straws.**

HEY, MANAGER...if you're going to be a TOTAL bitch when I'm ordering my food, at least make yourself a TOTAL BITCH who can get an order right... that way you don't look like a TOTAL FUCKING IDIOT at the same time.

If Wes Was Your DJ :: ElectronicNation

2010-03-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

"Bottle Rocket" The Go! Team

"Relator" - Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson

These videos can also be seen on SwishEmbassy.TV

Eye Candy :: Zach Parise

2010-03-02T23:42:00.000-07:00

(via wickedgayblog)

Super Punch Tarot Cards

2010-03-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

These are super neat, peeps. John Struan, creator of Super Punch, invited 70 of his favorite artists to create tarot cards. The first 17 are done and posted on his blog. Check it out! Nice, job (btw) artists. You all have some real talent! Here are a few of my favorites:

Watch :: Alice in Wonderland Trailer

2010-03-02T22:20:00.001-07:00

Anyone else peeling off their face just waiting for opening day of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland? Next to The Nightmare Before Christmas and Edward Scissorhands, I have a feeling this may be one of his greatest works.

Guilty Confession #17

2010-03-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

I peed a little (okay... a lot) when I saw that Boy Culture linked back to my Taylor Lautner post. I had no idea he read my blog. And I am totally complimented. If you all haven't visited his blog, please do. He's wonderful!

And his pups are so adorable, I want to stick a pencil in my left eyeball every time I look at them.

Nice View

2010-03-02T21:30:00.000-07:00

(via boyculture)

Quote of the Day :: Judge Mathis

2010-03-02T21:14:00.002-07:00

Although, I think this would have been much better falling out of Judge Judy's mouth, Judge Mathis did a fine job himself (hay gwirl):

If you are [gay] I think you should be up front about it. So many young men and women try to stay in the closet because their family and friends might be biased, or what have you. Forget about them. Be who you are. Certainly I believe that most sexual orientations come biologically and not by choice."

Readers, how do you think Judge Judy would have handled this? I'm assuming:

I'M SPEAKING! AND THAT SIR, IS BALONEY! ABSOLUTE BALONEY. Listen to me... if you are gay, which you are, and choose to keep your wimpy butt in the closet, well... then that's your business. BUT, if you make the choice to come out, you can't be TIMID about it. And when you have people, like a homophobic loser with NO JOB, NO LIFE, AND NO FUTURE, like your little friend over there, YOU DON'T GIVE A HOOT WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT YOU, you move on with your life, and marry the man of your dreams.

Judgement for the plaintiff in the amount of $5,000.00